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Welcome
ROOKIES,
Not sure what the hell all the piles of sweaty, stinky
guys are doing?
Can't figure out the logic of passing a ball backward
to go forward?
Troubles interpreting the robot dance the referee
does whenever the whistle blasts?
Wondering why that tunnel thing happens with the lifty
thing and then that throwy thing?
Why all the yelling and running and pushing?
Contemplating your admiration for tackling?
Well, this might help:
Please refer to a brilliant article called the RUGBY
PRIMER. |
THESE ARE THINGS YOU SHOULD
KNOW BEFORE YOU PARTICIPATE IN ORGANIZED COMMOTION:
1. wear SUNSCREEN.
Even if you're not pigmentally-challenged. Wear
it. That means you, Harley.
2. MOUTHGUARDS protect
your teeth and gums. These are important devices
for chewing and talking and smiling.
3. running shoes are for lawn bowling. Get CLEATS.
You will hold your ground and protect your ankles.
4. SUNSCREEN
5. TIGHTY-SHORTS. What
cyclists and steroid-using weighlifters wear. Target
has them: $10. They protect your danglies.
6. we supply shirt and socks. We can get you shorts.
Let us know. We'll hook you up.
7. WATER is the greatest
gift of the rugby gods. If you drink it, you might
avoid dehydration and hangovers.
8. SUNSCREEN.
9. rugby is FUN. Wear
sunscreen.
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AND DON'T FORGET THE ROAD RULES...
1. We carpool.
GAS
and tolls are shared.
Form alliances with speed DEMONS
if you like getting from A to B in short fashion.
Or pick a cautious driver if you like taking twice
the time to get there, STRAPPED
to the slow lane.
2. Hotel rooms are usually a 4-person SPLIT
(find rich rugger friend if you're broke).
3. ROACH motels are good.
4. You will have to share a bed. (Find out who snores,
who STEALS blankets.)
7. Closets and bath tubs are considered perfectly
acceptable sleeping spots for any post-social PASS-OUTS.
8. LEFT-OVER pizza is
the breakfast of champions.
SEE
YOU ON THE PITCH! |
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We
look forward to initiating you in some heinously embarrassing way that
you don't proportionally deserve—right after you sign a
waiver that releases the team, club, and certain pseudo legal-political
bodies from all fault and responsibility thereof should you die,
or lose a limb, or crush something important. Or conversely kill someone,
or severly maim them for life. Res
ipsa loquitor.
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